Setting Examples

Growing up meal times were important family times. We were called to the dinner table. We would wait until everyone was seated and only then would we begin our meal. We would eat together. Once everyone was finished we got up and cleared the table together.
Even though today I find this tradition a little rigid I do like the quality it brings to the dinner table. The atmosphere is different when everyone is there. We learned to value what has been cooked. We learned to enjoy the food with each other. We shared about our day and listened to each other.

Now that I have my own children I am trying to instill some of that quality as well. I am trying to find a way that will still leave room for flexibility. I want my children to come together for enjoyment, rather than "because mom says so!". (Not that this was necessarily true in my family) I hope they will enjoy coming together. That they are wanting to eat together.

Why am I writing all this? The other day I had dinner with Sophia and Mateo. My independent Sophia kept getting up as soon as she was finished with her dinner and began playing in the living room while Mateo and I were still eating. I asked her to stay with us, so that we could be together, and that now would be a good time to have "Mama time" were as later I would be busy with the baby again. It took a little while, but she did return to the table.

In the meantime, I kept finding myself wanting to get up and do other things in the kitchen. I had to smile at myself, because I had to restrain myself from doing what Sophia acted out, doing my own things. However, because I stayed at the table and now enjoyed myself at the table, it drew Sophia back to the dinner.

In many ways we are all still children learning, just that we as adults have more control over our actions and thoughts. Modeling and being honest about what we feel, think and how to turn unhappy energy into cheerful energy is something we can do for our children.