You can control your children
though threats and punishments
and they will learn to fear.
You can control their behavior
by praise and reward
and they will learn to look outside themselves
for approval and for worth.
You can watch of their every movement,
every action, every decision,
making sure they do it "right,"
and they will learn to always
doubt themselves.
Or you can love and guide
without controlling or interfering
and they will learn to trust themselves.
*If your child fails at something
merely express your confidence
in their ability to handle the consequences.
If they behave irresponsibly,
merely point out the consequences to themselves
and others,
and again express your thrust that they will learn.
As soon as possible give them another opportunity
to be appropriately responsible.
Do not slip into the downward spiral
of blame,
shame,
and control.
It doesn't work.
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