sewing with sophia

Before we left we worked on "making our home more beautiful" projects. When my parents left back for Germany they took with them the crib Mateo and before him Sophia was using. The crib is an old erloom. My younger sisters slept in it already and it was build by a carpenter friend of my grandfathers. When they were they were leaving it seemed the right time to say good bye to the little bed and send them off with it.

Mateo therefore moved into the lower bed of Sophia's bunk bed. We bought a new dresser and to make the room more cheerful we sewed a garland. Sophia and I worked on this project together.We decided what the shapes should look like, the fabric, the pattern, and we sewed it together too.

We were a team! I drew on the pattern, she cut, I sewed. She sewed some too, and felt very happy about it. She was making something for her very own room, to make it more beautiful. We are not done with their room, as we need to change the curtains and perhaps rug, but slowly and gradually it is turning into their little happy space, reflecting both their qualities and things they like.

sophia's sewing project

This weekend Sophia decided she wanted to learn how to use a sewing machine. Since we recently decided their room will have somewhat of an owl theme, she made an owl. We will mainly use red and blue for decorating. The owl is setting the tone for their room beautifully!

With only very little help she pulled the whole project off. Her ability to concentrate and work diligently never seizes to amaze me.

Here she is showing us her first piece, so happy with her accomplishment:

Yes, this one had to cuddle and hold the owl too! ;)

anticipation

~Sophia while opening her Saint Nicholaus present~

above all love

Dear Sophia,

This was a hard, difficult, bringing me to many tears kind of a weekend. You are one powerful and strong girl. You ask for boundaries, you need consistency, you thrive on freedom and you grow beyond everything else on LOVE.

I struggle at times to give you all of the above and things get bad. Bad in the sense that we both end up crying, angry and really sad. We try different ways to help you, and have mostly found what you need and what helps, but that doesn't mean your intensity just goes away.

But tonight, after feeling like I just want to run away, I thought, no, I love you and I am going to stick with you, and let you know how much I love you. I held you tight and while you were kicking and screaming, I told you in a regular voice, as if talking to myself, how much I love you. That you couldn't do anything to change that. That I love you so much that I wasn't going to let you stay this angry. That I am there for you to see you through this. That I didn't know why you are feeling this way, but that I am here because I love you.

You gradually stopped fighting. I let you go. You started to fight again, but this time only with words. In a clear, kind voice I told you that you were going to bed now, and that I could then massage you, something that you like very much.

Still grumpy, but noticebly calmer you lay down and I massaged you. Mateo wanted to sing me song, so I sang a good night song. Not much later you dissolved in tears. Tears rolled down your face. I just stroke your head and told you that everything was just going to be ok.

I just felt love for you and I think that is the only way you will feel better and better. The boundaries and consistency and freedom you need are given to you with love, a powerful place.

What do you think of swimming lessons?

With love,

mama

After writing this I just opened up this book, The Parent's Tao Te Ching. How fitting:

Finding Balance

There are so many paradoxes in parenting

that it is difficult to find balance.

Some don't even try.

They just plunge ahead

ignoring the subtle whispers of wisdom.

Others try half-heardly,

but resort to old methods

when they get confused.

But some hear wisdom's quiet voice

and make it their own.

They find strength in softness,

power in flexibility,

perfection in mistakes,

success in failure,

clarity in confusion,

and love in letting go.

a good day + jeweled landscape

Today was one of those really good days for Sophia. She came to my classroom for me to fix her hair in the morning (it is easier to do it in the classroom where other people are around), she ate most of her lunch, she quickly finished her homework right after school (she now gets a note in her book from teacher Barbara, asking to please only complete one page, otherwise she would just keep doing, I don't think that ever happened to me! ;)), she tackled a math problem (figuring out how many children there were in our lower grade classes to make sure we had enough candle making supplies for all of them) and then at home she did a little more math with Theodore and a tutoring student.

I quietly kept accepting and admiring her joyful day. And then she suddenly got out the glue gun and some materials (inspired by a little project that I was working on, to be shared later) and started creating. Once in a while she would say "this is where the queen lives" and "this is more beautiful than I have ever made something". Layer after layer she kept adding onto her project. I must say when I saw the end result I was astonished and couldn't love it more. Although, yes, there is one thing, to see her telling me about her creating, the sparkle in her eyes and to see her being proud of something she created. Now, that was a treasured moment I want to remember always and strengthen the foundation of our relationship with.

When putting her to bed I couldn't help but wonder if tomorrow would bring a difficult day, as I have observed that pattern of easy/difficult alternating days before. But like I told her, tomorrow is another day, it will be different, but it can still be good, it is just a question of what we each make of it.

Good night!